It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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