The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
i think my cat just said my name.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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