i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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