Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
