I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You pole danced in your parka.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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