Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
