Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
