but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You were trust falling into bushes
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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