Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
