He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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