I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Farmville is her only friend.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
