afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
