At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
