Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
