so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
