how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
