Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
