if you like me you must not know who I am
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
