ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
