the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
