Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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