Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
