its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
