Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He passed out mid-signature
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
