all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
