I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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