Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I wish i was in the wii world.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
