Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
