Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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