Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
