I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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