She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
please come you make the beer taste better
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
