He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
don't judge my taste in strippers
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
