eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
