went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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