Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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