there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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