Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
