my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
