hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
