i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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