Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
