i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
