i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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