New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
