eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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