Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
