whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
