I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
