If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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