Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I cannot find my penis.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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