I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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