I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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